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| Gina Gershon |
| 09.30.03 (11:44 am) [edit] |
[image]silentwordz_118935 0087.jpg[/image]
So I was going to write about how pissed off I was at myself for locking my keys in the car last night but then I was sitting here and it dawned on me that I was within arms distance from the ever fabulous Gina Gershon (pic on the right). My anger is gone. You see she is promoting her new movie "Prey for Rock n Roll" and is touring the US playing in small venues. The movie is based on an all female rock group and how they came to be. So Ms. Gina plays and sings a lot of the soundtrack.
Let me just start by saying that she is #2 on my list. For those that don’t know Angelina Jolie is #1 but I don’t know how that list stands after Sunday night. I went to see the show. Gina stole my lustful heart and didn’t ask permission before taking it either. So I’m standing there at the venue not really understanding the whole realness of how close I was going to be to the real thing. We go inside and of course there are nothing but girls inside. It was funny cause other than the occasional gay-boy and the rare couple it was packed with girly-girls, butch girls, etc. The opening band played and I didn’t understand a word they were raving about but the drummer kicked ass. He was a blonde boy with great hair that was matted to his side by the time their set was over. (sexy on many levels). At the end of his set he throws the drumstick into the crowd, it bounces off the big gay boy (who was standing next to me) and hits me on the side of the head. If that wasn’t a calling I don’t know what was. (I now own a beat up drumstick from the Gina Gershon show).
So they get done playing and we stand there for a few minutes. (actually it was half an hour) I spent my time checking the scene and drinking some well deserved Corona's (I was fighting a slight headache from the drumstick to the side of my head incident). The lights dim and I make my way back to the front of the crowd. Lesbians are great. They moved out of the way for me cause I'm short!!! Yes there was a concern about whether or not my short ass could see the stage. So I find myself three rows back right next to the big gay boy again. I failed to mention that the gay boy seemed to have a thing for me. He insisted on buying me a beer and telling me that I was hot for a girl ( I asked him if he was sure he was gay). Anyway the band came on and then there she was. I think my mouth dropped as she came on stage. The crowd went nuts as she placed her guitar over her shoulder and said hello to the screaming crowd (yes I lost my voice). Look I'm going to be really honest here. The pictures do her no justice what so ever. Her eyes were a hazel green. Her lips (oh her lips) are pouty even when she sings. Her hands were meticulous as she strummed away on her guitar. Her voice had a deep raspy sound. She wore a black scarf which she removed later on during the set. Her size 6 (I' m guessing but I'd bet anything I'm right on this one) leather, laced up the front pants hung snug just below her flat, sexy stomach. She's a lot thicker in real life. Her crooked mischievous smile as she looked out into the crowd. (it was really all too much for me).
Did I have a good time? (that would be an understatement). My review if I had to give one? Well, though she is no Mariah Carey or Christina Aguilera when it comes to voice, if you like Veruca Salt, Hole, Blondie, Pat Benetar then she fits and she fits well. I know if she does release a CD I will own it. After I go get the soundtrack for the movie. Did I mention that I think I fell in lust? Or love depending on how you want to see it. I'm writing a letter to Santa tomorrow to let him know that I will not be asking for Angelina this year and that if he brought me Gina instead I would be one happy little camper.
On a side note. I start drum lessons next Tuesday. I'm more than excited. I'll keep everyone posted I'm sure this will be more than amusing to most of you.
:wink:
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| Walk Away--Christina Aguilera |
| 09.26.03 (12:01 pm) [edit] |
A slow piano playing in the background. The lights down low. The shadows against the wall.
"Walk Away" she sings.
So simple isn't it. The lights flicker and there is this dancer that embodies the mood of the song.
"I'm addicted to your allure and I'm fiendin' for a cure".
The chills start as his body moves. Slow, calculated. Her voice carries as her body walks away only to turn around again as he moves toward her.
"I keep going back to the one thing that I need to walk away from".
You can feel the tension. Its there in the mood of the song. It’s in the sexiness of the sweat that drips from his body. It’s the one thing that keeps us all going back for more. That temptation that we should have never given into. The one that will leave us scarred.
" So sad but it's true, Each beat reminds me of you"
Too bad it felt good the first time and every time after that.
"Every step I take leads to one mistake, I keep goin' right back to the one thing
That I need to walk away from"
It'll always feel that good. That’s what worries me.
" I'm about to break I can't stop this ache".
At the end she turns away. He still dances for her.
Knowing she'll turn around again. How many of us are the dancers? How many of us have tried to 'walk away'?
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| Imagine for a minute |
| 09.25.03 (11:11 am) [edit] |
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Imagine for a minute. A touch from behind and the softness of someone's lips on your neck and you lean in because its nature to want that touch. You close your eyes because you want to lose yourself in the pleasure even if its only for a minute and those hands find their way over your thighs barely touching but you feel the heat rise. You arch your back a little so they don’t miss a spot. That warm mouth has found its way to yours and there is nothing but innocence and need found between what little space exists in a single breath. Would it be so bad, you wonder, to give in. Your fire rises as those hands slip under your shirt and touch you in a way that makes you unsure of the need that you are so aware of. Your mouths join again and you feel that tongue slip over yours slow and methodical. Maybe its no longer the need that makes you afraid but the person you are becoming as you lose your senses. Would it be so bad, you wonder, to want this the way you do. Those hands have found their way into your depth. You shudder but you need it. It crosses your mind that you don’t know who it is that is causing this lust and you no longer care. Everything is calm and nothing exists between the desire and passion. Nothing expect the end. Those hands withdraw at your release and you lean forward suddenly aware of your vulnerability. You can still feel the kiss and the touch pulse through your body. You turn to look but find nothing but a shadow walking away.
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| Bench Press |
| 09.25.03 (10:11 am) [edit] |
So I spent two hours last night putting together a bench set for my room. Im really excited about this because I need to put some tone back on this bundle of love that I am. Anyway it started off simple enough. Put Slot A into Slot B and screw (hehehehe). So for $40 i thought how hard can this really get i'll be done in half an hour. Im good with tools I can do this on my own. So I lean the main part against the wall and start going at it. Half an hour later I come to the part in the picture where there are three holes and I can only find two. (great its defective). So after 15 minutes of inspection I realize that i had put a piece in backwards. I wanted to kick the machine over but instead I sat down and drank some tea and proceeded to laugh at myself for being such a nerd.
i start to take the bench apart only to have the heavier side fall on my foot. **yelp** i bite down and cuss the machine out in many different ways. I bite back the urge to let the tears flow as my little midget foot throbbed while i tried to massage some of the pain out. Portishead was playing on my radio. So I layed back, closed my eyes and let the pain just work its way out. (its still sore this morning but no where near the pain it was in last night).
I think about giving up and just taking it back to the store but the little voice inside starts making fun of me cause i'm letting the metal machine get the best of me. After ten minutes of arguing with the voice I decide to start over again. I play Sade, light some incents, think of how ridiculous it is that I'm playing Sade while putting this machine together, take a deep breath and try it again.
It took me a lot longer than I had anticipated but I'm happy to say that I successfully put it together. I sat on it. Shook it up. Placed some heavy weights on it. Shook it some more. It did not fall. yeah for me and yeah for tools and yeah for patience and yeah for sade.
Now the little 3 Storage Metal holder is another story. I'm definitely taking that back. That was more complicated than the machine and all I had to do was plug it on like lego's. Then I realized its not gonna hold my CD's when it can barely hold itself up. I sneezed and it fell over cause I accidently ran into the corner of it. I gave up at about 9:30pm and watched TV instead. My adventures with building were over. I never liked legos anyway.
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| Composing Me |
| 09.23.03 (11:48 am) [edit] |
I have composed a list of the words that people have used to describe me in the last two weeks. For some unknown mystery of the universe these 6 words have been used by more than one person. Someone help me put it together. Cause I dont get it. does this mean that I'm one saddened, yet funny creature on this earth that just cant seem to get it right? I took a quizilla test (i fail to forget the name of it right now) but it said that I am James Dean??? what the hell is that all about...Im definitely not seeing something here.
Entry: intense
Function: adjective
Definition: forceful
Synonyms: acute, agonizing, all-consuming, ardent, biting, bitter, burning, close, concentrated, consuming, cutting, deep, diligent, eager, earnest, energetic, exaggerated, exceptional, excessive, exquisite, extraordinary, extreme, fanatical, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, full, great, hard, harsh, heightened, impassioned, intensified, intensive, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, protracted, pungent, sharp, shrill, stinging, strained, strong, supreme, undue, vehement, violent, vivid, zealous
Concept: intensity
Entry: melancholy
Function: noun
Definition: depression
Synonyms: blahs, blue devils, blue funk, blues, boredom, bummer, dejection, despair, desperation, despondency, dismals, dolefuls, dolor, down trip, downer, dumps, ennui, funk, gloom, gloominess, grief, letdown, low spirits, miserableness, misery, mopes, mournfulness, mumps, pensiveness, sadness, sorrow, tedium, unhappiness, wistfulness, woe, wretchedness
Concept: sadness
Entry: sad
Function: adjective
Definition: unhappy
Synonyms: bereaved, bitter, blue, cheerless, dejected, depressed, despairing, despondent, disconsolate, dismal, distressed, doleful, down, downcast, forlorn, gloomy, glum, grief-stricken, grieved, heartbroken, heartsick, heavy-hearted, hurting, in doldrums, in grief, languishing, low, low-spirited, lugubrious, melancholy, morbid, morose, mournful, pensive, pessimistic, somber, sorrowful, sorry, troubled, weeping, wistful, woebegone
Concept: sadness
Entry: mysterious
Function: adjective
Definition: secret
Synonyms: abstruse, alchemistic, arcane, astrological, baffling, cabalistic, concealed, covert, cryptic, curious, dark, difficult, enigmatic, enigmatical, equivocal, esoteric, furtive, hidden, impenetrable, incomprehensible, inexplicable, inscrutable, insoluble, magical, mystical, mystifying, necromantic, obscure, occult, oracular, perplexing, puzzling, recondite, secretive, sphinxlike, spiritual, strange, subjective, symbolic, transcendental, uncanny, unfathomable, unknowable, unknown, unnatural, veiled, weird
Concept: inaccessibility
Entry: funny
Function: adjective
Definition: humorous
Synonyms: a scream, absurd, amusing, antic, blithe, capricious, clever, comic, comical, diverting, droll, entertaining, facetious, farcical, for grins, gas, gay, gelastic, good-humored, hilarious, humdinger, humorous, hysterical, jocose, jocular, joking, jolly, killing, knee-slapper, laughable, ludicrous, merry, mirthful, playful, priceless, rich, ridiculous, riot, riotous, risible, side-splitting, silly, slapstick, sportive, waggish, whimsical, witty
Concept: humor
Entry: charming
Function: adjective
Definition: captivating
Synonyms: absorbing, alluring, amiable, appealing, attractive, bewitching, charismatic, choice, cute, dainty, delectable, delicate, delightful, desirable, electrifying, elegant, enamoring, engaging, engrossing, enthralling, entrancing, eye-catching, fascinating, fetching, glamorous, graceful, infatuating, inviting, irresistible, likeable, lovable, lovely, magnetizing, nice, pleasant, pleasing, provocative, rapturous, ravishing, seducing, seductive, sweet, tantalizing, tempting, titillating, winsome
Antonyms: charmless, disgusting, gross, irritating, offensive, repellent, repulsive
Concept: personality quality
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| Obssessing |
| 09.22.03 (5:05 pm) [edit] |
Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock
in my head. i dont know why.
Limp Bizkit comes to mind:
~Eat you alive~
Hey you Mrs I dont know what the fuck your name is
Im drawn to you somethings magnetic here
If I could approach you or even get close to the scent that you left behind Id be fine
No doubt (no doubt) that you bring out (bring out) the animal inside
Hey you, Mrs. too-good-to-look-my-way and that's cool you want nothing at all to do with me.
But I want you, ain't nothing wrong with wanting you cause I'm a man and I can think what the hell I want, you got that
straight?
No doubt (no doubt) that I'd love to (I'd love) sniff on them panties now....
I'm sorry. So sorry (damn, you're so hot!!)
Your beauty is so vain (damn, you're so hot!!)
It drives me, yes it drives me (damn your so hot) absolutely insane
I just want to look at you
I just want to look at you, look at you all day
I just want to look at you, I just want to look at you all day
There ain't nothing wrong, no. There aint nothing wrong with that
Once you seep in (once you seep in) under my skin (under my skin)
Theres nothing, theres nothing in this world that could wash you away.....
I'm sorry. So sorry (damn, you're so hot!!)
Your beauty is so vain (damn, you're so hot!!)
It drives me, yes it drives me(damn your so hot) absolutely insane
I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'd eat you alive.....
I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'd eat you alive.....
I'D EAT YOU A-LIVE!
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| Requiem for a Dream vs. Rilke |
| 09.22.03 (9:48 am) [edit] |
I had a weird weekend. I'm not sure where to begin except that on Friday I watched the movie "Requiem for A Dream". After watching it I wasn’t the same. I cant explain it other than it touches on the subject of aloneness. The reality of this life and what its all supposed to mean. (It fucked with my head). Really. I don’t seem to think the same about things. I spent Saturday slaving under the hot sun at the pottery place. I didn’t want to sit inside the warehouse (like I normally do) and hide from the day. I thought about people and what they may be out doing. I didn’t feel bad about having to be at work. I spend 12 hours of the weekend absolutely alone in a warehouse. Thinking mostly. I try to read to let some of the time slip by. This weekend I read Rilke's "Letters to A Young Poet" and it talked about embracing the aloneness. The reasoning behind it. How some people can really understand it, while others run or ignore it. Again it put me into reflection. Not that the movie compares to such a great writer but the basis of both made sense to me.
The fear of being alone vs. the acceptance of being lonely.
I don’t know that I have come to any conclusions on either. All I know is that it made me think a whole lot. Then on Sunday I went to my brother's house and I was telling them about the movie and I remember telling them about how alone it can make you feel. My brother said he wouldn’t watch it cause he couldn’t deal with feeling that way (mind you he's got a GF of 4 years) so I thought it was a bit weird of him to say that. My younger sister got sad and said that maybe she couldn’t watch it cause it would remind her of our mother. The conversation didn’t last long. We didn’t watch it together. I'm glad for that. It exposes you. Little pieces of the things that hide deep down inside. You put yourself in each character and wonder which one you could be. At one point it feels like it’s the same person.
I don’t remember what the point of this BLOG was at this point. Watch it. Who knows maybe its just me at a time when things are changing. So it touched me. Read the book too. Both are worth the time.
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| Like the Desert |
| 09.19.03 (10:12 am) [edit] |
Damn I'm in a mood today. If it werent for the fact that I'm trying to stay sober for a month I'd go out tonight to get a really good buzz and dance all night. I need to get rid of some of this good energy that I have going before its gone again. Then again I suppose I don't have to drink to dance huh? So far so good havent had any lapses or weird shakes :lol:
"She is water in the desert that I can't have" I'm f*cken thirsty.
:wink:
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| Mysterious Girl |
| 09.18.03 (4:54 pm) [edit] |
"I think the mystery is gone,
and if you have no mystery,
then you aren't even sexy. "
Stevie Nicks
I dont know what it is about this quote but I really like it. It's like when you watched Lois & Clark work together knowing she was in love with Superman but he was right under her nose the whole time and then she finds out and the story is over. The mystery is over and they are just like anyone else. Only he's got super-sperm :shock: .
right. feel free to comment.
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| A fairytale. |
| 09.16.03 (2:46 pm) [edit] |
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Life is full of them. From that first kiss to the last breath. Dancing under moonlit skies until the clock strikes midnight. The bells go off and its time to run away again. We awake wondering what if I had stayed. What if I allowed myself the experience instead of turning my back on it. Fairytales have happy endings. That’s why they are stories. Even in life we weave possibilities for ourselves. The only happiness that will ever happen is the one that we create for ourselves. Struggling for that second in which the answers just appear. We get caught up in moments. We look into things too deeply. A simple answer is just that sometimes. Nothing (I don’t think) really prepares us for the mistakes or the regrets or the things that just occur (both good and bad). Its life. It’s a never ending fairytale which is what makes it so good. It has no ending until its over.
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| Alcoholic---- |
| 09.10.03 (5:00 pm) [edit] |
So I had another conversation with a friend of mine. Nothing like a long lunch to stimulate the mind. I don’t even know right now how it came up but we got on the subject of drinking (I remember now we were discussing how broke we were). Any way he asked me if I thought I could quit drinking for a month to see how much money we really do spend on alcohol. I laughed one year ago I would have answered "I can quit anytime I want". But I didn’t lie to him. It’s a noble attempt to spend money on other, more important things. But I cant go a whole MONTH without a drink. I cant go out and not have a drink or not buy someone a drink. I cant stay home after a fucked up week and not crave at least TWO cold beers.
I mean really thinking about it I have cut back in such a way that it hurts my ego. I used to be able to drink tequila like it was water (me and Mr. Cuervo are not on the best terms right now, being that he brings out some off the wall violent emotions in me). I used to drink E & J with Coke on a Sunday morning to prepare myself for a long reminiscent afternoon with the boys as we listened to oldies. Or how about the Saturday mornings as I lay in bed trying to think of how to nurse the Bud Light binge from the night before. I would faithfully get up with my roommates at 1030 in the morning and pick the best seat at the local bar (right next to the juke box) and order up some bloody mary's for a quick fix. Or the weekdays when everyone else was out catching some waves or trying to hook up with the newest addition to our quarters (and trust me there were some worth chasing), I would again faithfully (that word is used often when I think of liquor) go buy a twelve pack (for myself) and sit in my room watching the Country Music Channel with some friends. If it wasn’t that it was any other music channel (I had them all) anything else was just too depressing to watch.
I recall Jose and I taking off to a far off place by the lake and the hottest bartenders in Oahu just cause we knew no one else would take that 40 minute drive with us. It was our haven away from familiar faces. A place where the ladies loved Jose's flirty ass eyes and the laughter from the girl next to him. That would often (in her drunken state) say over and over and over and over again how much she loved the red lights that surrounded the bar (yes I've had a thing for red for some time now). Once I managed to tell one of the bartenders that she was the most beautiful person I had ever met, I think I cried when she told me she was engaged. But she made up for it by giving us free drinks the rest of the night, "Lots of love in a little cup" (it was her own invention. Damn if it wasn’t good).
Was I happier then? Or was it because of the fuzziness of many many days (o.k two and half years to be exact). There are days when I literally fiend to have it all back. I was a full blown alcoholic by the time I got out of the service. I've changed. It's a very slow process. In a sober state of mind I'm not sure I'm that much better off without the liquor.
Don’t get me wrong I still partake in the drinking. It’s a part of me. But the two of us have an understanding, a relationship if you will. We know not to push the other or it will end bad. I wouldn’t change. I've learned a lot and the only thing that ever stayed faithful to me was the bottle. Sounds sad I know but it's true and I'm o.k with that.
**I'm gonna go have a beer**
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| Sex |
| 09.09.03 (4:35 pm) [edit] |
It's simple really. Like the touch of silk. A kiss. Somewhere with someone.
Just to linger long enough in someone's touch. Dancing with the desire. It trembles. Slow. Sexy. Hungry. The touch of two lips. The rhythm of the tongues. Leaning. Needing. Mostly wanting to exist for a moment in someone else's world. Nothing needs to be said.
Where can we meet? Under the rain. In a crowd. In an empty café. You there. Me here. Fantasizing about the same thing. Dripping from the thought. Some days hard. Some days soft. Some days not long enough. Getting lost in a sigh. A moan. A release. Touching. Tasting. Licking. Gripping sheets. Somewhere someone knows what I'm talking about. That thirst. For a passion that strong. That unquenchable fire. Ending neither here nor there.
"Cause rather than deal with the fallacy
of this dry ass reality
I'd rather dance and romance
Your sweet ass
In a wet dream"
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| Tattoo's of words. |
| 09.08.03 (10:40 am) [edit] |
So I made the simple mistake of going through some of my old emails. As most of you know by now, I write. Sometimes I write a lot. Sometimes I don’t. They come to me randomly. So anyway when I write them I send them to myself so that I can log them somewhere. I posted a lot of my stuff on the internet the first couple months of this year. Then I stopped because I didn’t want anyone "stealing" my material. Better safe than sorry. Eventually I will put a book together. (yeah for big dreams).
Anyway they put me in a mood of complete melancholy. I cant say I didn’t enjoy visiting those places again. I could see when they were written and why. Its amazing to me how words can capture certain moments. I noticed that most of my stuff drip of the pages. They arent written in haste or anger even if that’s the emotion I was feeling. They are slow dances on white pages. Written in a moment of weakness (or many moments I should say). I think a lot of them are written as though someone else were looking into me. I forget what raw emotions bring to the table sometimes. I like the feeling of them being tattooed into my soul. I write so that maybe someone else can feel that too.
Im not so sure it’s a blessing cause a lot of us write out of pain. I don’t cry. So I write. I write forever. Lines upon lines of different stories and different times. Many of you are there written in somewhere. Tattoos.
When I think of you I can find you in my words. Somewhere you always linger. When I need to remember how you made me feel. I'll find you written somewhere. That’s for anyone that knows that I've given them a place in my permanent world.
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| The kiss heard around the world. |
| 09.05.03 (10:17 am) [edit] |
So I am lame for even posting about this but it just needs to be voiced. If you are an anti-MTV watcher then you still have to read this. I want to bring to everyone's attention that Madonna kissed BOTH Britney and Christina during the VMA's. Now why is this important you might be asking?? Well if you don’t know please I insist that you watch the re-runs. It takes place during the first ten minutes anything after that is really not worth watching. (well the Christina number wasn’t too bad but that’s only cause I saw her live and I LOVED the concert) My whole point in writing this is that even though Christina is known as the freak (and I'm willing to bet anything she is) she did not seem to enjoy this display of affection. Or maybe its cause she's diiiirttty that no one thought twice. Well now that I got out of the way. Lets discuss little Miss Innocent (Britney) who managed to wow the crowd with her open mouth "come and get me" kiss. I think I managed to fall out of the papa-son chair I was sitting in, while cruz let out a yell and a friend of ours mouth just dropped. For this to happen to us is just so rare because well we're not easily surprised. (unless it involves one sexy mama licking spilled liquor of another sexy thing's arm ~~just the thought of that makes me squirm) but let me not venture too far from the fact that since then Britney (who is now America's favorite lesbian fantasy) seems to be so shy about the whole thing. Almost girly with an "ewwww" type of attitude toward the whole thing. Though I would beg to differ if anyone watched the re-runs I'm sure anyone would agree. As she trampled around the stage in her oh so short skirt licking her lips and smiling the whole time.
What I'm dying to know is did she feel it????
I mean she only kissed THE Madonna (and rather nicely I might add).
Someone get me the press cause I want to ask the real questions. None of this "was it planned" bullshit. I want to know the real deal. Did it tickle her in places it wasn't supposed too??? And this "I've never kissed a girl before" BULLSHIT. We all know she was hanging around Jenna Jamison (porno queen) for some time. And you mean to tell me NOTHING happened???? Oh do believe I'd ask her about that too.
Now that I've got that off my chest I will also mention that upon seeing the re-runs last night it still gets to me. Madonna is a pimp. I would lick her toes if she asked me too (and I hate feet for anyone that doesn’t know). Who else would get both Mickey Mouse Girls to give into her tactics?? Brilliant I tell you!
On to other things important things. I will be voting for Gary Coleman (whatchu talking about Willis?) during this election.
Now everyone can get back to their important lives.
Thank you.
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| Damn Blues |
| 09.04.03 (10:45 am) [edit] |
Last night was another restless night. Fighting with my sheets. Wondering why it wasn’t cool enough in my room. Tossing and turning like a washing machine. "damn, not again."
I lay on my back staring at my red roof with shiny gold stars that I spray painted myself. I had to smile twenty six and still dreaming. What the hell is this all about? I turned on my side to see what time it was 12:30 am. I checked my cell for any random messages "who knows maybe" but alas there were none.
So I gave into the fact that I may not be getting enough sleep at this point in my life. Just another thing to through in the bag of shitty things *yes this is funny*. So I got up, lit some incense and started to randomly go through my CD's trying to find something, anything to relax my mind. I picked up some Billie Holiday (Lady in Satin), Janis Joplin (House of Blues) and some Jimi Hendrix (Playing the Blues). Something's gotta help my get some shut eye. I put them in and hit "Random". I lay down again, fluffing my pillows cause that’s what people do sometimes.
Singing, playing, singing, playing. All the words soaked into me. Those songs don’t have the same sound as the music of today. I don't play them often but when I do. I get it. I think it was more about the lyrics at the time than about voice. It was about getting that emotion out. Trying to find the right words. The things that you want to say but never come out in just the right way. Music.
I fell asleep listening to Janis Joplins "Maybe". I remember thinking "yeah maybe".
Maybe
Oh if I could pray and I try, dear,
You might come back home, home to me.
Honey, maybe
Whoa, if I could ever hold your hand
Ooh you just might understand.
Honey maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, yeah.
Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe dear
I guess I might have done something wrong,
Honey I’d be glad to admit it.
Oh, come back home to me!
Honey maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe yeah.
Well I know that it just doesn’t ever seem to matter, babe,
Oh honey, when I go out or what I’m trying to do,
’cause I’m still left here
Holding on in needing you.
Please, please, please, please,
Oh won’t you reconsider babe.
Come on, I said come back,
Won’t you come back to me!
Maybe dear, oh maybe, maybe, maybe dear,
Let me help you show me how.
Honey, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe,
Maybe, maybe, maybe,
Maybe, maybe, maybe, yeah.
Ooh!
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| My place in the world |
| 09.03.03 (3:00 pm) [edit] |
So upon a conversation with a very old and dear friend of mine. I was talking about how we had to make and office move. yes lil 'ol me cause im short and strong I suppose. even though i know we have perfectly capable MEN in the office that can move this furniture that is 3 times my weight and size but that is not the point of this blabber.
We were talking about how I'd make the perfect bitch. You name it and i have a badge for being the perfect bitch. Really.
the fix it bitch
the movin bitch
the drinking bitch
the dancing bitch
the keep it on the down low bitch
the hold me bitch
the my BF just dumped me bitch
the damn if you were a guy bitch
the damn if i was a guy bitch
the make me laugh bitch
the i've never kissed a girl bitch
the if i were straight bitch
the if you were gay bitch
Really this is funny if you take a look at it closely. I'm not fibbing.
But please dont take this and run with it. I rather enjoy this position in life. In fact I think it gives me character. I know I have that going for me.
thank you all for giving me this experience. I would have it no other way. *hugs and kisses* :D
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| The rain and my Mind. |
| 09.03.03 (10:27 am) [edit] |
Last night the thunder and rain woke me out of a restless sleep. I sleep with my window open because I need to feel the cool air against my skin. Yes it gets rather cold but when the window is closed it just doesn’t feel right. So needless to say when the loud bangs started I was a bit more than scared until I realized what was going on. There is something about the sound of the rain that just melts me.
I don’t really know how to describe it. The smell (cruz makes fun of me because I told him you can smell it before it comes). The sound is sexy as hell. The way it looks as it falls onto the surfaces below it. Sometimes it makes me laugh when I see people scramble to stay dry. Not me I like to look up and feel it fall on me. I used to go swimming in the rain. When it starts I just want sit at a window and watch it fall.
There are numerous amount of things that it makes me want to do. Its not like the sunny days when you want to be outside, soaking up life. I prefer the rain to mostly anything else. There is so much you can do. Drinking a cold beer while you play that one song that just makes you want to cry over and over again. (yes repeat is a necessity in this case). Or you can drink a cup of hot cocoa while you sit a couch and ponder what the hell is going on in your life at that very moment. Or curling up with a warm blanket and watching movies all day. Or having slow sweaty sex all day. Taking breaks only long enough to let the chills subside.
Yes the rain my favorite thing on this sometimes hopeless planet. My favorite thing because it brings me back to myself. When I can look at myself and say "hey kid you arent so bad".
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